It Doesn’t Mean He’s Sick
Having a son with Asperger’s doesn’t mean he’s sick or there’s something wrong with him, he doesn’t have some kind of disorder. He just thinks differently, he processes the world differently. We’re all different in our own ways. Asperger’s is more a way of grouping people who are different in certain way’s. If that makes sense.
He often doesn’t get a mention like his sister because he doesn’t crave attention, he prefers to chill in his own little world. So I’m kind writing this post for him and also in the hope that other parents in the same situation might get something from it.
When he was really young, as parents, we knew something wasn’t right. He showed certain behaviours that worried us at the time, he would have melt downs over little insignificant things, he had odd habits, he also had an amazing memory (sometimes). He used to sit on the floor and rock back and forth, he used to have meltdowns when things didn’t go the way they were supposed to, not because he wanted it to, because it was meant to. He couldn’t cope with change and he still struggles when things don’t go to plan. There were cute habits to, he had an alphabet puzzle and he used to sleep with one of the pieces every night. Keep in mind it had to be in order, A then B then C… and so forth. God help us if he couldn’t find the one he needed, for him his world would crumble.
It took a long time to actually get someone to say “yes, this is what it is” We went to so many doctors, councillors and specialist and they all said the same thing “He’s a little borderline but he’s okay. Don’t worry to much about it” It wasn’t until we found a phycologist who specialises in Autism that we got a definite answer “yes, definitely Asperger’s”. Even though we already knew it was hard to accept, I balled my eyes out that day. But at least she was able to put us on to other people in our area that could help. Finally we got the ball rolling, we even got government funding to help pay for assistance. I can’t stress enough how important early intervention can be. Even though I say there’s nothing wrong with my little man, he still needs to be taught differently, he needs to be taught how to deal with change, because he lacks empathy, how to communicate with people properly so they don’t think he’s rude or being heartless. How to have a conversation without rambling on about useless facts. How to deal with bullying,
There was one time watching him play at the school play ground, a little 4 year old boy started hassling him and started spitting on him. Kai who was a few years older just stood there, locked, not saying anything, not defending himself. My soul just crumbled, my heart broke into a million pieces. I called out and ran over, the little ratbag had taken off by the time I got over there. When I asked Kai why he didn’t do anything, he couldn’t answer, he couldn’t explain, he just couldn’t move. His little brain had gone into emotional overload and had shut down. It was absolutely heartbreaking to watch but at the same time it was an eye opener. He needed to be taught different things, things that we take for granted.
At the same time he also has a great mind, when he was around 3 he could tell you the alphabet backwards. For a while he took an interest in the planets and could tell you all the planet and the dwarf planets, and most of their moons to. If anyone had a question about the planets, Kai had the answer.
Asperger’s is a lot more common than people might think, when you know what to look for it seems pretty obvious looking around a classroom which kids are on the spectrum. If you have any thoughts or concerns please leave a comment or clink on the social media links at the bottom of the page.